First off, let me just say that I don’t remember the last time that I wrote in livejournal. Sorry about that. I guess that you’ll just have to take my word for it that I’ve actually been in Armenia for the last 16 months -- because I have. Where else would I get a chance to meet the friends (read: parasites) in my digestive system?

So yes, we ate the Armenian delicacy today. Apparently, we are not as devoted to the khash as the Armenians of yore. While we ate our khash with lavash at a table like a bunch of sissies, the real way to eat it is to put a towel over your head and eat it lampshade style. Why? The better to inhale the garlic broth, my dear. I think that it makes farmer’s blowing (or “snot rocketing”) a bit easier as well. On to the khash!

So yes, my name is Andrew and I enjoy khash. While the aforementioned garlic, water, and rectum taste was not there. It was more of a garlic, water, and butter with nuances of duodenum. Really, the garlic and the water covered up the organish tastes that could have arisen had an amateur created this concoction.

I think that it is worth noting that this soup does not resemble slaughterhouse floor at all. The Indiana Jones “eyeball soup” thing should not come to mind either. Rather, picture chicken noodle soup. Now take out the chicken. Good. Get rid of those noodles, and if you’re into vegetables, get rid of those too. Ok. So you’re left with the broth, right? Take a garlic clove now. No, one that’s bigger than that. Nope, bigger. Good. Now multiply that by 15. Excellent. Mince those 15 garlic cloves and put them in a vat of oil. Yes, I said a vat. Add that to your chicken-less noodle-less garlic soup broth and then go find yourself some salt. Now as I learned today, you can never have too much salt in your khash, so start adding. Don’t be shy, there’s no shortage of salt on the planet. When you’ve added enough salt to raise your blood pressure to 2000/5 million, get yourself some things from a cow. Please note, I did not say “meat.” This is on purpose because not everything in a cow is “meat,” right? Just add one or two of those things (don’t put too much thought into what parts you’re using... it’s better that way). And voila, you have what khash looks like.

So Melissa pretty much covered everything else. We made new friends today putting our total of new friends to somewhere around 50 and new enemies at 0. Our new friends are anxious to have us over so that they can show us how khorovats (Armenian barbeque) is really made: in using a hole in the ground that’s big enough to double as a room for your personal gimp. I can’t wait.

So thank you for allowing me this opportunity to write in livejournal.

Flavorfully yours,
Andrew