The Elements

Armenia has really put me in touch with earth, wind, fire and water.

In February, all the women of child-bearing age warmed up their uteri by jumping over piles of sticks on FIRE. Other people jumped too, for reasons I can't quite decipher, but it had something to do with love, fertility, luck and trying not to sear the hem of one's coat. Also on this day, so different from, um, other days, we ate things that came from the EARTH, including popcorn, hemp seeds and chickpeas. You lick your finger then just stick it in a pile of hemp seeds (is it legal to post that?). Proceed as normal with the popcorn, minus the coconut oil and pound of salt.

So, WATER. We had Water Day the other day, which is a holiday designed solely for the harassment of innocent girls by ill-behaved boys. Also, apparently, for the harassment of Americans.

I guess the holiday is technically about washing away all your sins since last water day, but it seems to me that it's more about wracking up as many sins in one day as possible. Case in point: My sister-in-law and I were chased down the street by tireless, shirtless, scrappy, gleeful little punks wielding buckets of water; later drenched; then still later forced to take refuge in a local shop because the boys were chasing us up and down the streets. And that was before 10:30 a.m. … well before the real battle even started.

The real battle commenced near the church, where well-dressed people filed in and out, carrying umbrellas and appearing terrified. Little boys armed themselves with cellophane bags full of water but were fortunately not blessed with the aiming gene.

Alright, I covered fire, earth and water. Not sure what to say about WIND. Eat beans and you'll break it. Done.

-m